The first step in good relationship management is gauging both your offline and online relationships. Take inventory of your relationships. Yes, I literally mean to take an inventory of the people in your life, much like someone stocking shelves in a warehouse. On a piece of paper, make a four-column table. During the course of our program(s), you’ll add more columns so it’s important to do this right.
You will notice that Column 4 discusses emotional triggers that a relationship may cause. There is a strong overlap between emotional and social variables in UWB. It’s good to note those.
- Column 1: jot down all the names of people you are in touch with
- Column 2: simply put plus (positive), minus (negative), and circle (neutral) next to their names.
- Column 3: put whether they are a close, medium, or loose connection.
- Column 4: add emotional triggers that these people may give you.
|Mom||+||Close||Mom gives me encouragement to keep going|
|Partner||+||Close||Nice to have someone who loves me the way I am|
|Church Group||+||Medium||I appreciate the common values and support|
|Running Group||+||Loose||They push me to get better and I feel accomplished|
|Old HS Friend||+||Close||Always nice to chat with someone who likes you no matter what|
|Chat Friend||o||Loose||I like speaking to my friend but we stay on the phone too long|
|Colleague afterwork||–||Medium||Feel like I waste my time because we talk over and over about the same thing|
|Needy Friend||–||Medium||It’s difficult to hear about my friend’s problems all the time; it brings me down.|
|FB Messenger Friends||o||Loose||Chatting with friends I met years ago is nice and sometimes I wish I was with them.|
|Instagram Chats||o||Loose||Sometimes I get envious of other people doing fun things.|